Wednesday, November 29, 2006
so long since i last blogged. recently i've been thinking so hard about smth that is bothering me so much. lolol. but yeah seriously. sometimes i feel that i'm a very irritating person and no one wanna entertain me or be entertained by what i have to say. sometimes i'm afraid to tell ppl what my problems are. or share my feelings about things. like when i'm talking to rubber or ling on the phone. i dont dare to go on and on about stuffs that i'm afraid would irritate them. its like. when rubber when overseas i had this feeling that i want to talk to her. and tell her everything that happened cos so many things happened. but when she's back, i've nth to say to her over the phone. and for ling. i havent talked to her on the phone for so long. and i really miss her. but i always hold myself back. no matter how much i wanna tell them my problems, i'll keep my distance. i feel that i'm always creating trouble for myself. i ask ppl the same qns over and over again. dont you think they'll find me irritating? i alr know the answer and i know what answer i want from them so when they dont give me the answer i want i ask them the same qn again. dont you think i'm so irritating? what the fuck is wrong with me. right. i'm just some retarded ass who wanna keep irritating ppl. i'm annoying. i'm such an idiot. i'm also someone who haunts on others. dont you think i'm such a pain in the ass? i think everyone dreads me. omg. just slap me. wake me up. i wish someone could just tell me what they think of me. like say, 'you are such an irritating bitch. when will you just shut the fuck up?' i wish everything would come to an end. it wasnt like this before. why is it like this now? i wish everything could just rewind and go back to normal. this is not normal. i wanna stop this mess. i wanna wake up.
& i'm so not okay.
2:05 AM a public affair.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
since sunday till now,
i've trained 40%.
lolol. nth much to blog abt.
sometimes i'm veh veh happy.
&i love talking to rubber.
lol. or rumble. (x
3:19 PM a public affair.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
i'm bored.
these few days were spent talking on the phone.
with yujin, rubber and unsung.
mostly yujin (:
now lemme talk abt maple (x
i'm stuck at lvl 70 since forever.
wth i needa lvl! and fast.
if i buy a ppc tmr or soon.
i can make my lvl FLY ;DD
alright. wei came to my house today.
for like 1hr plus. lol.
then she went to meet chengyu.
and i mapled. lol.
i'm desperate to lvl.
(so no more dying at showa. f3)
&,
the end (:
11:23 PM a public affair.